Should You Send A Card To Your Ex?
by Jane Smith
It’s getting around to the holidays again and when the holidays come around, I realize I’m spouting out more free dating advice because although this time is full of joy, it can also be full of misery and heartbreak for others wanting their ex lovers back in their lives. Now from a man’s point of view, I will tell you this now, that this is conflict mostly only women go through, because men hardly like to write ‘xoxo’ in cards (President and company excluded) let alone their feelings. The problem with it is, no matter how dumb your ex may be, he will know what you’re trying to do by sending him a well thought out card.
Now when I was still seeking dates on personals, I met this girl that I ended up breaking up before the holidays. (Something a lot of guys do when they simply don’t want to buy an expensive gift for someone they are casually dating.)
She had sent me this beautifully-written card. It was perfect in every way but at the same time, I felt incredibly sad for her. Every part of the card screamed ‘please take me back’ from the calligraphy to the not so subtle spraying of her perfume on the card. Even though she had put so much thought into the card, I sent her a basic email saying thank you for the card and I wished her a Happy Holidays a few days later. She then sent me back an angry email saying, ‘That’s all you’re going to say? I put so much thought into your card, you prick! F*ck you!’
The truth of the matter was that although I cared that I hurt her feelings, I didn’t lose any sleep over it. I had known the card was an attempt at reigniting a spark that was never truly there in the first place. I had known she wanted the card to look like it was meant for closure when really it was another desperate attempt to get back together.
I also knew every word in the card wasn’t meaningful if she only meant to manipulate me into seeing her again with her words.
So it really all depends your situation with your ex. If you’re friends and if you are already sending cards to your friends and family, then send away. Make it brief and don’t bring up the past in the card.
However, if you really need to take the time to ask yourself if you should send a card, then the answer is probably no. Plain and simple. Save your card sending for someone who really appreciates you!
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